Flock Feud
by Chasing Ideas
Summary: Welcome to Flock Feud, the new game show where members of the Flock are asked embarrassing and revealing questions, forced to complete insane and totally unnecessary tasks, and are generally pitted against each other! T for safety of future chapters
1. Chapter 1 Introducing: The Flock!

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Author's note: This is my grand debut to fanfiction. Squee! (

_**That **_**was lame. Oh well!) I've been reading stuff on it for some time and I've decided to take a whack at it. (not literally of course, I would never dream of hurting such an awesome site) **

**I will be referring to myself as Ellie (I'm the host of this fine game show) because that is my online name. As if I would ever give my real one away! And no, it has nothing to do with my real name.**

**Disclaimer: I (obviously) don't own any of the Maximum Ride characters. They belong to the awesome James Patterson.**

**Please R&R!!! Now; on with the show!!**

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(Lights dim. Corny theme music plays. A single spotlight hits center stage.)

Ellie: Good evening everyone! And welcome to Flock Feud, the new game show where members of the Flock are forced to answer embarrassing and revealing questions, complete insane and totally unnecessary tasks and are generally pitted against each other!

(crickets chirping)

Ellie: Come on guys. It'll be fun! (smiles creepily)

(crickets continue chirping)

Ellie: Fine. I'll make the studio pay you 1000 bucks each… And you can stroke Fang's gorgeous wings.

(roaring applause and cheers)

Ellie: That's the spirit! Now, before we bring out the Flock, here's a short word from our sponsors.

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A woman's cheery voice begins to speak as pictures of happy children wearing familiar looking jeans dance around a bright field. "This show has been sponsored by the new and improved Itex. Our jeans and diapers are some of the most comfortable around, and not to mention, super stylish! And come visit our new School; totally rebuilt and ready to be on the cutting edge of DNA research. Itex, where the dreams of the worlds most powerful people are put into action."

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Ellie: That's not creepy… I really should talk to the producers about our sponsors. Anywho; now to the main event! Let's bring out the Flock!

Ellie: Today the Flock will be split into two teams; red and blue. The Red Team's primary lifeline will be Total, and the Blue Team's will be Ella. Let's start with the Red Team. The first member loves kicking some serious M-Geek and Eraser ass and being in charge. (coughs. And Fang.) She hates authority figures and being wrong. Let's bring out: Maximum Ride!

(cheers and a few "You're hot!"s)

Max: (looking around) I demand to know what this place is! Why have you brought me here?!?!

Ellie: Umm… Isn't it obvious? (resumes host voice) You're on Flock Feud!

Max: (looks around again and notices bright, flashing neon sign that says "Flock Feud!") Oh. Right. (blushes)

Ellie: (hands Max a red t-shirt that says Flock Feud) So Max, if you could please head over to the first chair on the Red Team side-

Max: Does that mean I'm in charge?

Ellie: No.

Max: Why can't I be in charge?!?!

Ellie: BECAUSE I SAID SO, SO JUST GO TAKE A SEAT AND SHUT UP SO I CAN CONTINUE WITH THE SHOW!!!

Max: Sheesh… (sits in first chair)

Ellie: (turns to crowd and smiles creepily again) Sorry about that. My therapist says I have "temper problems." Crazy, right? Anywho, let's introduce our next member of the Red Team. He's our favorite blind cooking and pyrotechnic whiz. Everyone give a big hand for: Iggy!

(Iggy walks on to the set)

Ellie: Iggy! Welcome to the show!

Iggy: Where am I? Why am I here? And how did you develop the power to suddenly bring me here?

Ellie: Isn't it obvious? You're on Flock Feud! (points to flashing sign)

Iggy: Uh… no. I'm blind; remember?

Ellie: Right… sorry. So, you're on Flock Feud because you're, well, a member of the Flock. And my power comes from a secret source. I'll never give it away. NEVER!!!

Iggy: Okay… I'm just going to go sit down now. (Max leads him to the second Red Team seat.)

Ellie: Now, let's introduce our final member of the Red Team. Umm… we're sort of running short on time because the producers were too cheap to buy a one hour time slot instead of a half hour one, so, without further ado; here's Gazzy!!

Gazzy: I demand to know what this is and why I'm here!!

Ellie: You know, for being trained to watch for Erasers and such for your whole life, you members of the Flock are surprisingly unobservant. (sighs and points to flashing sign yet again) You're on Flock Feud! You are the third and final member of the Red Team, so just go take a seat next to Iggy.

Gazzy: Do we get to blow stuff up?

Ellie: We'll see (looks at audience mouthing "no way")

Gazzy: Okay. Whatever.

Ellie: And that, my friends, is the Red Team. After this brief commercial break we will introduce the rest of the Flock! Please stand by.

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Ellie: Welcome back! Let's bring out the first member of the Blue Team. He is the male half of Fax/Mang, is brooding and mysterious, and is often mistaken as being emo. Everyone, please welcome the one, the only; Fang!

(many cheers and thundering applause)

Fang: Hey! It's Flock Feud!

Ellie: Finally! An observant contestant! You're right Fang. Welcome to Flock Feud. You are our first member of the Blue Team. Please take the first seat on the Blue Team side.

Fang: Sure

Ellie: Easiest introduction so far! I think things are looking up! So let's introduce our next contestant. Please welcome the Flocks resident beauty expert and chatterbox; Nudge!

Nudge: Who are you? Where am I? How did I get here? Hi Max! Ooh, hi Iggy, Fang, and Gazzy! Now we're only missing Angel! Hey! This looks like a game show! Will we win fabulous prizes? Will they be-

Ellie: Hello Nudge! It's great to have you here! If you could just sit in the second chair on the Blue Team side that would be great. We still need to introduce the Blue Team's final member and explain the rules of the game before we get started.

Nudge: But you haven't told me what this is or-

Ellie: I'm sure Fang will be perfectly willing to explain that to you while I introduce our last contestant.

Fang: (glares)

Ellie: Okay. Let's introduce our final contestant. She is the youngest of the Flock and has more powers than you can count; give it up for Angel!

(Angel walks onto stage and a silver helmet is immediately strapped onto her head)

Angel: Hey! What is this place? And why can't I read anybody's thoughts?!?!

Ellie: Well, you are on Flock Feud, and you can't read thoughts because of the helmet you are wearing. You'll also find that you won't be able to control anyone's thoughts. This is because of the helmet you are wearing, which you will not be able to take off while on the show. This is to prevent cheating.

Angel: (huffs)

Ellie: Please take a seat next to Nudge.

Ellie: Unfortunately, we are out of time because of the show's lack of funding. We'll have to explain the rules next time. Have a great night everyone! (smiles creepily directly at the camera one last time)

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**The introductions took a little longer than I thought and I didn't want to make it a super long chapter by combining it with the rules. I'll hopefully get to the actual game show in chapter 2 or 3 depending on how long it takes to explain the rules. I'll try to get chapter 2 posted in two or three days.**

**Please R&R!! ******


	2. Chapter 2 Two questions down, 38 to go

**Yay! I have three reviews! I know it's not much, but it least it means that **_**someone**_** is reading it. **

**Thank you Kina for the kind donation. Maybe the producers will bump the time slot up to 45 minutes, or even an hour!**

**As usual, please R&R and suggest this fine game show to any friends that like funny MR fanfictions. Thank you!**

**Oh. I forgot to mention that I also don't own Family Feud even though the name is borrowed from it. Actually, I've never even seen it. Maybe I should… And thank you to Kina (again. You're so helpful!) for the title idea in the first place.**

**On with the show!**

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(Lights dim. Corny theme music plays. A single spotlight hits center stage.)

Ellie: Good evening everyone and welcome back to Flock Feud! In our last show, we only had time to introduce our contestants, the Flock, because of my cheap producers. So, because of the lack of time, let's get right into it. Please give a warm welcome to: The Red Team!

(Red Team enters to applause and cheers)

Ellie: The members of the Red Team are; Max, Iggy, and Gazzy! Please take a seat on the Red Team side you guys.

Max: I'm a girl!! How dare you discriminate against my gender! And yours for that matter! You sexist pig you! Why I oughta-

Iggy: Max, calm down. It's just an expression. I'm sure she's not sexist against her own gender. (turns to Ellie) You aren't, right?

Ellie: No! As Iggy said, it's just an expression. So, why don't you two guys and one girl take a seat on your side.

Max: (huffs, but takes a seat)

Ellie: Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today… Well, let's just keeps it moving so we can do something productive. Okay, let's bring out the Blue Team!

(Blue Team enters to applause and cheers, as well as some "I love you Fang!"s)

Ellie: The members of the Blue team are Fang, Nudge, and Angel. Fang…

Fang: What?

Ellie: Why aren't you wearing your stylish Blue Team shirt? I designed it myself and it is required for you to participate.

Fang: So that means I can go? Yes! So long suckers! (turns to leave)

Ellie: That's not what I meant!

Fang: Well it's what you implied…

Ellie: Don't you smart talk me you mutant bird kid you!

Fang. Wow. Creative. (sarcastic)

Ellie: Oh just be quiet and sit down with the rest of your team.

Fang: Fine (turns and walks to his seat while snickering)

Ellie: Before we can begin the game, we have to go over the rules. Okay?

The Flock and the audience: (groans)

Ellie: Oh come on, it won't take that long. And it'll be fun! (smiles creepily yet again) Okay, so the way the game works is, well, there are, umm….

(awkward silence)

Nudge: Wait? You're telling us you don't know how to run your own game show?!?! If _I _was in charge, I would always make sure I knew what my lines were, and how the game worked, and I would never dare come out without spending 45 minutes in hair and makeup like you obviously didn't, and I….Ooh! I like your shirt though. The green sparkles really bring out your eyes. Actually your eyes are really nice even without the shirt. A very pretty shade of… Wait? What was I ranting about again?

Ellie: Oy vey… Nudge, just calm down sweetie. Of course I know how the game works. I was just having trouble getting started. Okay, I'll try again. Obviously, there are two teams; Red and Blue.

Max: Really? I hadn't noticed.

Ellie: Oh be quiet Ms. Grumpy. I said obviously for a reason. There will be five rounds and each round will have five questions that have to do with a specific category.

Gazzy: Like explosives?

Nudge: Or makeup?

Angel: Or purple ring tailed lemurs named Harold?

Ellie: _What?!?!?!_

Angel: It was just a suggestion.

Ellie: Okay then… I will ask a question and the first team to buzz in gets 10 seconds to answer it. If they don't get it they can pass to the other team or call their lifeline.

Iggy: What? Who's dying?

Ellie: Iggy, a lifeline is someone you call if you don't know the answer.

Iggy: Oh.

Ellie: As I mentioned last time, the Red Team's lifeline will be Total, and the Blue Team's will be Ella. But use your lifeline with care because you can only use them once per round and not at all during the bonus round. Okay, it's time for a commercial break. We'll be right back here on Flock Feud!

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Ellie: And we're back! So, Flock, do you have any questions so far?

Gazzy: So what happens if neither team gets the question right?

Ellie: Great question! If neither team answers the question correctly, then both teams compete in a Quick Fire Challenge!

Gazzy: What's that?

Ellie: I'll name a category and you'll have to go around the studio and even into the audience to get ten things that fit in that category. The first team to get ten things that fit wins the challenge and the point.

Gazzy: Okay.

Ellie: Any other questions?

(silence)

Ellie: Great! Now, at the end of each round there will be a Challenge. The challenge could be anything; a puzzle, an obstacle course, a treasure hunt, a riddle, etc. And whoever finishes first gets three more points! That means that it is possible to earn up to eight points in round for a total of –

Total: You called?

Ellie: Not you Total. A total amount of points.

Total: Hmph! (trots off stage)

Ellie: Anywho, there is a total of 40 points to be earned in a game.

Fang: What if there's a tie?

Ellie: Another great question! You guys ask such good questions.

Max: And girls you sexist pig!

Ellie: And girls. (sighs) So in the event of a tie, there will be a Tiebreaker Challenge. Whoever wins the challenge will win the game! And that's how you play Flock Feud. Any questions?

Nudge: Have you ever tried pot?

Ellie: Not that kind of question!

Nudge. Well, have you?

Ellie: No! Of course not! What made you ask, anyway?

Nudge: I just wanted to know.

Ellie: Okay… So, let's begin!!!

(more corny theme music plays)

Ellie: So first lets introduce our very first category. And that category is: Fang!

Fang: That's not fair!

Ellie: Sure it is! I make the rules, so I get to choose the categories.

Fang: (sighs) Fine. Let's just get it over with.

Ellie: Yay! Okay, our first question is: What was Fang's name when you guys went to school in Pennsylvania and who did he have a crush on?

(Red Team buzzer sounds)

Max: This is too easy! His fake name was Nick and he had a crush on the Red Haired Wonder.

Fang: That's what you called her?!?!

Max: Oops. Didn't mean to let that slip. (turns to Ellie) Does that count?

Ellie: I'm sorry, but I need a real name.

Max: Fine

(Red Team conferring)

Ellie: 10…9…8…

Max: Would you stop counting?

Ellie: Fine

Max: Was it Hannah?

Ellie: (laughs) No. Blue Team, do you have an answer?

Angel: Fang's name was Nick and he had a crush on Lissa.

Fang: I did not!

Angel: Did so!

Fang: Did not!

Ellie: SHUT UP!!!!

(they shut up)

Ellie: (nice tone again) Blue Team, that answer is correct.

Angel and Nudge: Yay!

Fang: (grumbles)

Ellie: Okay, the Blue Team now leads, 1-0. We have time for one more question before the end of the show. The second question is: Who's crate was Fang nearest to while at the School?

Fang: This is too easy! What kind of game show is this?

Ellie: They're easy because it's the first round; they'll get harder as we continue. So, if the answer is so easy, what is it?

Fang: I was next to Max's crate. As I said, easy.

Ellie: Full name please

Fang: Fine (stuffy tone) My crate was situated near the crate of the lovely Ms. Maximum Ride whilst we attended the lab known as the School simultaneously. (normal tone) Good enough for ya?

Max: Did you call me lovely? (blushes)

Iggy: Did you say whilst? (snickers)

Fang: (stony silence)

Ellie: Fang, that is correct. Point Blue Team!

Angel and Nudge: Yay Fang!

Fang: (more stony silence)

Ellie: Well that's all the time we have for today folks. We'll see you next time on; Flock Feud!

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**Whew! I finally finished! I hope that was as good as (preferably better than) the first chapter.**

**I forgot to mention, I came up with the idea of aQuick Fire Challenge, and then I realized they have those on Top Chef. No, I do not own or have any rights to Top Chef, as awesome a show as that is.**

**Please review! Since you have obviously read it already. Or you just scrolled down to the bottom for the heck of it. In which case, please actually read before reviewing. Thank you and I'll try to update again in a few days!**


	3. Fang's afraid of what!

**Sorry it's been a while. I have just completed my ninth day of ninth grade, and so far it has been very hectic. But I have developed a schedule that will ensure more consistent updates. Please see the author's note at the end of the chapter for details.**

**In answer to TulipBook's thoughtful review, I would just like him/her to know that I will be keeping the format the way it is. I considered both of you suggestions when I was starting out and I decided that I wanted to make it more like my readers are watching a show or reading a script rather than an actual story. And it's sort of hard to do that and have a particular person's POV, so it's just staying the way it is. **

**Yay! Weird, Word doesn't recognize yay as a word. What was I going to say again? I don't remember. Grr…Hmm…Do I have anything else to say?**

**Nope! To chapter three!**

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(Lights dim. Corny theme music plays. A single spotlight hits center stage.)

Ellie: Good evening everyone and welcome back to Flock Feud! Just a reminder, our two teams are the Red Team the Blue Team. The members of the Red Team are Max, Iggy, and Gazzy. The members of the Blue Team are Fang, Nudge, and Angel. We left off after finishing the second question of the first round, and the Blue Team is leading two zip.

(silence)

Ellie: You know, it would make me and Steve the prop card holder _really_ happy if you cheered when we held up a card that says "applause and cheers" for once. A little audience participation is never frowned upon in both the game show and talk show circuits.

(more silence)

Ellie: You know what? I take back my previous offer! If you don't follow every single cue card for the rest of this show, not only will you not get paid, but you won't be able to stroke Fang's wings!

(gasps followed by thunderous applause and cheers)

Ellie: That's the spir-

Fang: You told them they could stroke my wings if they followed your stupid cue cards?!?!

Ellie: Fang! How nice of you to show your emotions for once. And my cue cards are not stupid! How dare you say such a thing. Yes, I did tell them that they could stroke your wings, and guess what? There's nothing you can do about it!

Fang: Wanna bet?

Ellie: Actually, no. First, I don't have any money, so we would be betting with lint. Second, what I want to do is get back to hosting my game show.

Fang: Whatever.

Ellie: Okay people, let's get down to business. Our third question is: What is Fang's biggest fear? And it CANNOT have anything to do with Max, needles, doctors, lab coats, schools, crates, you get the picture.

Fang: This question isn't fair!

Ellie: Oh Fang. I thought we already went over this. I get to decide what the questions are, and if I want to ask the Flock what your biggest fear is, so help me I WILL!!

Iggy: Wow. You _do_ have anger management problems.

Ellie: Oh pish posh. That is absolute poppycock, utter twaddle speak. You my friend are a wingnut for thinking I have "anger management problems."

Iggy: You're right. I _am_a wingnut because not only do you have anger management problems, you also are completely crazy.

Ellie: Thank you!

Iggy: It wasn't a compliment.

Max: Can we just get on with the show?

Ellie: Oh, right. The show. Let's get on with it!

(Red Team buzzer sounds)

Ellie: Your answer?

Gazzy: Umm…Is it Max's cooking?

Max: Hey!

Gazzy: Well it's true.

Iggy: Gazzy's right Max. You can take on crazy megalomaniacs and their henchman, you can make all of us shut up by only saying a single word, and you can fly the fastest out of all of us, but the one thing that you absolutely cannot do and will never be able to do is cook.

Max: That's not true! I cooked with Ella and my mom in Mexico and you guys said it was great.

Iggy: But you had help.

Max: Yeah, but-

Ellie: Yeah, but means no! Let's get on with it! Unfortunately Gazzy, that is not the answer. As true as that may be, sorry Max, that answer has to do with Max which is one of our forbidden categories. Blue team?

Nudge: I know! I know! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!

Ellie: How about you Fang?

Fang: I refuse to answer this question.

Nudge: Please pick me! I know the answer! I swear! Pretty please with cherries on top?

Ellie: How about you Angel?

Angel: I'm not sure. I _would_ know if a certain somebody (cough-you-cough) didn't give me this stupid helmet.

Ellie: It's not stupid. It's to prevent cheating.

Nudge: PLEASE pick me!!!!!!!

Ellie: Okay…How about you Nudge?

Nudge: Fang is afraid of icing. The icing they put on birthday cakes! Once we were like at the park and some kid was having a birthday party and they invited us to join them. And they had this HUGE cake with lots of butter cream frosting. It looked so, so good. But Fang didn't want to go over there, and Max listened to him, as usual, so we didn't and that night I heard he and Max talking and he said that he was scared of icing. Isn't that absurd? I mean, who doesn't like icing? Well, I guess it's okay if you don't like icing, I mean, the super sugary kind is sort of gross actually, but who's _scared _of icing? Well, Fang I guess. But I think it's crazy. What scares him about it anyway? Does he think it's going to like jump out at him or something or-

Ellie: Okay Nudge, we get the picture. And yes, that is correct!

Fang: That is not fair!

Ellie: I thought we already went over this Fang. Whatever I say goes. And why isn't her answer fair? It's right, isn't it?

Fang: No it isn't.

Ellie: Well I guess you wouldn't mind this huge cake drenched in butter cream frosting that a kind fan bought us for the premier of this show. And I guess you wouldn't mind being the one who blows out the candles either. That is, if you're not afraid.

Fang: Of course I'm not. I'm not afraid of anything.

Ellie: Good! Wheel out the cake guys!

(very large cake is wheeled out)

Ellie: Okay. So if you guys could just gather around and let Fang in the center, then we can get this party started.

(Flock moves to center stage, Fang suddenly looks queasy.)

Ellie: Fang, are you all right? You look a little green.

Fang: (gulps) I'm fine. Bring on the frosting.

Ellie: Okay, then blow on the count of three. (turns to audience) Count with me!

Random audience member: We're not on Dora!

Ellie: Do you want to touch Fang's wings?

Same audience member: Fine.

Ellie: Ready?

Everybody: 1…2…3!

(as Fang blows, Ellie pushes Fang into the cake with the help of the flock, minus Max)

Fang: Oh my god! There's frosting all over me! Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!!!!

(everybody but Fang and Max laughing hysterically)

Ellie: Sheesh Fang. No need to blow a fuse. Besides, I thought that you weren't afraid of frosting.

Fang: Well…

Ellie: It's okay Fang, we accept you for who you are, be you afraid of frosting or not. Right flock?

Max: Right.

Rest of flock: (still laughing hysterically)

(Max gives death glare)

Rest of flock: Umm…right.

Max: That's better.

Fang: Umm…can you get the frosting off me? It's so creepy.

Ellie: Okay Fang. I've had enough fun torturing you….For today.

Fang: Oh great.

(Fang is taken off stage)

Ellie: Okay, not that that's over, we will get back to the show. The Blue Team now leads 3-0. Red Team, this means that you have to answer this question correctly and win the challenge in order to take the lead. Now, the question is how did Fang figure out how to get rid of the Flyboys when Max, Nudge, Angel, and Total were in Germany.

(Blue Team buzzer)

Angel: By using that machine gun he was bragging about as soon as we got back?

Ellie: I'm sorry Angel. That's incorrect. While using the gun did take out a large number of Flyboys, that is not how he managed to kill the rest of them. You have ten seconds to come up with an answer before we pass to the Red Team.

Angel: Okay.

(Nudge and Angel conferring.)

Ellie: Time's up you guys. Do you have an answer?

Nudge: Well we couldn't really remember. I mean, we remember him telling us, and saying that it was awesome and we're pretty sure it had to do with water or gasoline or something. And there was probably a big explosion that made Gazzy and Iggy really happy, and we think that it made him really happy to destroy all of them but we don't really have an answer.

Ellie: You know Nudge, a simple "no" would have sufficed.

Nudge: Well we were just trying to tell you what we were thinking and-

Ellie: Okay Nudge. I get it. Red Team?

Gazzy: Oh it was awesome! So Fang told us to fly out over the ocean and then drop really suddenly. Hitting the water hurt pretty badly, but it was so worth it! Flyboys were short circuiting everywhere, it was amazing!

Iggy: It was so cool! We could feel the electricity in the water, even though we swam pretty far away. It was simply epic.

Max: (under breath) boys…

Ellie: That is correct Red Team! You are finally on the board. If you win the challenge you will take the lead! That's all the time we have for today folks! Next time on Flock Feud we will have our very first challenge. Hopefully Fang will have recovered from his "frosting episode" by then. And I have been told by the producers that our sponsors have a special presentation as well. That should be interesting…Anywho, see you next time on: Flock Feud!

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**So as I mentioned above, I'm a rather busy person. Just because I haven't updated doesn't mean I don't love you. I truly love every one of my reviewers (just not in a creepy way) I am going to try to update stuff on fanfiction on Fridays or Saturdays. One week will be Flock Feud. Obviously that is this week. Next week I will update Family Affairs (please check it out if you already haven't!), and the week after I will work on the story that I am going to debut on fictionpress soon. I know that seems fairly infrequent but A: I have a life even if it involves a lot of reading novels and fanfiction and B: I want to give fair time to all three of my projects.**

**So, I'm hoping for ten reviews this chapter. A lofty goal I know, but I believe in most of you. So, please, por favor, sil vous plait, per favore, asseblief, bitte, vinsamlega, os gwelwch yn dda, alsjeblieft, zayt azoy gut review! And yes I did just say please in ten languages. Those languages are: English, Spanish, French, Italian, Afrikaans, German, Icelandic, Welsh, Dutch, and Yiddish!**

**And check out my profile. There are special instructions and I'll dedicate the next chapter to the first person to follow them.**

**To sum it up : R&R!!**


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